Stop Trying So Hard: A Surprising Key to Leadership Success
We all want to succeed. But ironically, one of the things that can keep us from getting what we want… is wanting it too much.
Let me explain.
Wanting something is important—it gives us direction and motivation. As John Maxwell says, “Everything worthwhile is uphill.” Nobody accidentally climbs to the summit of a mountain. You do that on purpose—and with a lot of sustained effort.
But climbing also takes strategy. And when we fixate on the summit—on the big goal—we can lose sight of the next foothold, the next small action that gets us closer.
That’s the paradox: trying too hard—or more accurately, focusing too much on the outcome—can actually keep us from achieving it.
Let’s use a sports analogy. Athletes don’t win by chanting “Win the game! Win the game!” They win by focusing on fundamentals: executing the next play, staying in the moment, and trusting the process. If they do those things well enough, the scoreboard takes care of itself.
A perfect example? During a playoff game last season, Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver A.J. Brown was spotted on the bench reading a book—Inner Excellence by Jim Murphy. When asked about it later, Brown said, “I use it to refocus and lock in, despite what may transpire in the game, good or bad.”
Leaders can learn from this.
Yes, we must cast vision and plan for the future. But sometimes, obsessing over the long-term outcome pulls us away from the small daily actions that actually create the culture we want.
Let’s say your goal is to create a culture of candor—where people speak up, share feedback, and communicate openly. You don’t make that happen by declaring, “We must be more candid!” Instead, focus on the building blocks:
Model feedback: Ask your team, “What have you noticed about how I handled X? What would improve it?”
Normalize openness: Accept input graciously—even when it stings—and show your team how to do the same.
Practice consistency: Invite feedback regularly, not just when things go wrong.
This applies to psychological safety, too. I read a great article recently (wish I could remember where!) that made a counterintuitive point: trying hard to create psychological safety often backfires. Leaders straining to “make people feel safe” may create awkwardness or distrust. But leaders focused on helping their teams succeed—by listening well, encouraging disagreement, and supporting decisions—create safety organically.
It looks like this:
Sharing your best ideas instead of holding back.
Respectfully challenging a weak idea instead of staying silent.
Supporting a decision even if you initially disagreed with it.
Do the right things. Do them consistently. The culture you want will emerge—not as a demand, but as a byproduct.
Try This:
Where might you be trying too hard?
What small action could you take today that aligns with the outcome you want?
You might be surprised how much progress comes from simply winning the next play.
