You Matter
I don’t write much about it in this space, but I’m a certified Maxwell Leadership speaker, trainer, and coach. As such, I get exposed to a lot of John Maxwell’s teaching. One of the things I have heard him say repeatedly is this, “We are people of value… who value people… and add value to them.” John has a way of packing a lot of meaning into a brief and simple phrase, and I want to spend a little time unpacking the middle part of this one, particularly, “Value people.”
I wrote recently about the fact that There’s Only One You. That makes you valuable. We all know that rarity or scarcity makes something more valuable. The ultimate level of rarity is something that’s one-of-a-kind. That’s what you are. And that makes you extremely valuable. To put it another way, you matter.
A few days ago, I read this excellent article by Zach Mercurio, in which he wrote about the importance of leaders letting their people know they matter. That article inspired this post.
Mercurio wrote about research that showed that leaders who made people feel seen or heard were the ones most likely to be remembered as “great” by the people they led. This feeling of significance is evidently a known thing in whatever circles psychologists run in (psychological circles?), and they have a term for it—”mattering.”
When we experience mattering, we thrive. And when we don’t? Well, then we experience what most of us call life. Because making people feel they matter is a pretty rare thing, it turns out.
Mercurio cites statistics to illustrate. For example:
4 in 10 employees feel someone at work cares about them as a person
30 percent of employees believe their potential is invested in
30 percent of people feel invisible at work
6 in 10 people feel underappreciated
He makes the point that we don’t have a disengagement problem, we have a loneliness problem. I agree. Which is why I’m writing to tell you this.
You matter.
You are rare and valuable. In fact, you are irreplaceable. Nobody else can do what you do.
You are loved.
I see you.
I believe in you.
I sincerely hope that what I’m feeling as I write this comes across to you as you read it. I really do. But I’m also a realist. I know that these are merely words on a screen and it would be so much more meaningful if you could see my face or hear my voice. I wish I could give that gift to all of you, but time and distance make it impossible.
But here’s what I can do. I can be more intentional to let those around me know they matter. I can notice them and affirm them. I can love on them and make them feel special. And I’m going to make it a point to do that.
And I can encourage you to do the same for those near you. Look for opportunities to highlight the good things people do. When you thank someone or compliment them, don’t use words that could apply to anyone, anywhere. Tell them specifically what they did that impressed you.
And here’s one final tip Mercurio shared that I just love. He said when he interviewed people and asked them when they most felt that they mattered, they frequently mentioned some version of these five words being said to them: “If it wasn’t for you…”
So I say to you, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be writing this blog post right now.
If it wasn’t for your friendship and support, Michelle and I would never have launched M2 Leadership and attempted to build a business doing what we love.
And if it wasn’t for you showing the people around you that they matter, they might never know.
Thank you.
