Was It Worth It?

About ten months ago, I faced a decision that would upend my life: should I leave a long, stable career in the federal government and strike out on my own as an entrepreneur?

More than twenty years ago, I discovered leadership and personal growth through a formal development program. I immersed myself in it—books, blogs, newsletters, videos—anything I could find on becoming a better leader. For the first time, leadership felt less like a position and more like a responsibility, like a calling.

That’s when I encountered John Maxwell. His ideas about influence, personal growth, and what he calls the Law of the Lid reshaped how I saw leadership—and myself. A quiet thought took hold: Someday, I’d love to do what he does.

That spark never went away. Over the years, I continued to read, study, and teach what I was learning to the teams I led. I shared it with Michelle, and she loved it too. We applied it in our careers. We shared it with friends and family. Eventually, we were asked to teach it in churches and small groups. Meanwhile, our careers progressed further than either of us ever imagined.

Still, that someday dream lingered. Someday, we’d leave our federal careers and dedicate ourselves fully to helping others become leaders worth following.

Decision Point

Fast forward to February 2025. I was living my comfortable, predictable life, doing meaningful work, and planning for that someday to arrive in another three to five years. I was 57—not near retirement, and not in a particular hurry.

Then, unexpectedly, someday became right now.

As part of a workforce reduction initiative, the federal government offered an unprecedented buyout: resign your position, keep full benefits, and continue receiving full pay through the end of the year. The catch? You had to decide quickly and be out by February 28.

I was torn. The opportunity was extraordinary—but I wasn’t ready. I’m not a spontaneous person, especially when it comes to life-altering decisions. This was the kind of choice I’d normally agonize over for weeks. Instead, I had days.

I did what due diligence I could. I consulted trusted advisors, including an attorney friend experienced with buyouts. Ultimately, I accepted. February 28 was my last day at SSA. On March 1, I went full time into what would soon become M2 Leadership Consulting.

The Grind

Since then, I’ve learned a lot—chiefly that entrepreneurship is harder than I expected.

I assumed that if we created good content, showed up consistently, and genuinely tried to help people, the work would naturally follow. It didn’t.

We launched a weekly blog and have published consistently for ten months without missing a week. We built a video series on self-limiting beliefs. We learned how to produce passable videos, invested in lighting and sound, and steadily improved our craft. We put ourselves out there.

Still, the breakthrough we hoped for hasn’t come.

We realized quickly that content alone wouldn’t do it, so we started meeting people—attending events and networking meetings, joining civic organizations, becoming part of our local business community. Along the way, we’ve made meaningful connections and even a few friends. We’ve helped some people and earned some revenue.

But not enough—yet—to call this sustainable.

And now, the reality is sharpening. The steady paychecks I received for decades are gone. Michelle still works, and I’ll begin drawing my pension, so we’re not in danger of going broke. But there’s no denying that something is about to change. Either M2’s revenue grows, or our lifestyle becomes simpler. Probably both.

Evaluation

Which brings me to the question: Was it worth it?

I wondered out loud to Michelle recently whether I would have taken the buyout if I had known what things would look like right now. Honestly, I don’t know. Knowing myself, maybe not. The risk feels real—more real than I’m comfortable with.

But here’s what I can’t escape: I believe with all my heart that this is what I’m supposed to be doing right now. And it troubles me to think that if I’d been able to see this far into the future, I might not have taken the risk to do it.

Application

So what does this mean for you?

First: be glad you can’t see the future.

That sounds counterintuitive. Sure, we all wish we’d known to buy stock in Apple or Microsoft years ago. But there’s more to it than that.

If I had known how difficult this season would be—if I had fully understood the cost—I might never have taken the leap. And I suspect that’s true for many worthwhile pursuits. Becoming a doctor, for example, requires years of grueling work and sacrifice with little immediate reward. If every medical student fully grasped the cost beforehand, fewer might begin the journey.

And yet, I’m deeply grateful for the doctor who once spent hours repairing my shattered leg. Some sacrifices are worth making—even if we don’t fully understand the price at the outset.

Second: don’t evaluate outcomes prematurely.

Evaluation matters. We should absolutely reflect on whether our efforts are leading where we hope. But timing is critical.

Imagine planting a garden, doing everything right, and then giving up after three days because nothing has sprouted. That would be absurd. Growth takes time.

Most of what we pursue in life doesn’t follow a neat, predictable timeline. Missing an early milestone doesn’t necessarily mean failure. Sometimes, the sprouts just need a little longer to come up.

Finally: don’t judge decisions solely by their outcomes.

It’s tempting to label decisions as good or bad based on what happens next. You might get stopped on that fourth down conversion attempt, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it was a bad decision to go for it. Outcomes are often shaped by factors we can’t control. Like the opposing team making the perfect defensive play call to stop you.

We don’t get to see the future. All we can do is weigh the facts we have, reason carefully, seek wise counsel, and choose a course. If we do that, we can stand by our decisions—even when results don’t turn exactly like we expected.

Final Thoughts

So, was starting M2 worth it?

That depends on how you define success. On what criteria you use. On whether this is even the right moment to evaluate.

For me, I’m all in. I made the decision thoughtfully. I consulted people I trust. I prayed. I sat with it. And then I chose my course.

Have the results been everything I hoped for so far? No. But that doesn’t mean the decision was wrong.

My harvest is coming. It’s taking longer than I expected but I planted the right seeds and I’m tending my garden. It’s just a matter of time now.