Is My Brain Me?
For as long as I can remember, I have held two competing thoughts about my brain. One is that my brain is me. As a person of faith, I believe I have a soul. But the soul is a spiritual concept that has no corresponding physical body part. So since I know my brain is the center of my conscious existence, I have always sort of equated my brain with my soul. From this standpoint, for all practical purposes, my brain is me.
On the other hand, I understand that from a purely biological perspective, my brain is simply an organ within my body. A very important organ to be sure, since it serves as the control center for the overall operation of the body. But in the simplest possible terms, again biologically speaking, my brain is sort of similar to my heart or my liver. It provides life-sustaining biological functions just like those other organs do. So there’s nothing special about my brain that makes it me. It’s simply a part of me, just like many other parts.
But reflecting back on my life, I realize I’ve mostly treated my brain like it’s me. I’ve largely treated my “natural” thought processes as inevitable because—try to follow along here—if the thought came from my brain, and if my brain is me, then my thoughts must be a reflection of the true me. Right? And being authentic and true to myself is a good thing. Right? So I should just accept my “natural” thoughts and roll with them. Right?? Well…
The Dilemma
The problem is that I was giving myself way too much credit. I thought I was pretty well adjusted and put together. I had a good, sound grasp on reality and I was able to view things as they really are, objectively. I wasn’t biased and self-serving like everyone else. And my thoughts were legitimate because they were based on objective facts and logic, not whimsy and emotions like everyone else’s. No siree Bob, I wasn’t like all these poor, pitiful, broken people we see running around all over the place! I was one of the fortunate few whose thinking was all sorted out!
Except I wasn’t. I wasn’t then and I’m not now.
Oh, I still like to think I’m above average. That I am a little more whole and have a little better grasp on reality and a little more control of my thought processes than most of the people I run into when I’m out and about. But I’ve had to face the reality that I’m really not that put together after all. My thoughts are not as rational as I’d like to believe they are. And my brain isn’t always serving me well or acting as an ally when it originates, interprets, and manifests my thoughts.
On the contrary, my brain often magnifies the worst aspects of me. For example, I have a tendency to be perfectionistic and hyper-self-critical. When I make a mistake, my brain looks at the mess and observes, correctly, that what I have wrought is not perfect. In fact, it’s nowhere close to good. This part is actually okay. My brain isn’t necessarily wrong when it tells me this. I do goof up and produce bad outcomes sometimes. I’m okay with knowing that. The last thing I want is to be deluded into thinking I’m good when I’m not.
But there are two real problems with what my brain does in these situations. First, it sometimes lies to me. Because of my natural tendencies, it judges what I did as “abysmal” when in reality it’s only “mid” at worst.
But the bigger problem is what my brain does next. What it should do—and what it would do if I had an abundance mindset—is go into problem-solving mode and help me figure out how to learn from the blunder and do better next time. What it actually does is tell me I’m just not good at that thing and I’d probably be better off to not try it again. “Next time?” it says. “Oh, there’s not going to be a next time for this!”
And all of this always makes perfect sense to me in the moment. But when I look back on it, I see that it’s an absurd way to think. Sure, there are some things in life that I’ll probably never get good at. But I can almost certainly improve in most things I attempt by simply learning and practicing. I need my brain to support me, not sabotage me, by helping me find a path to better. Like Brian Klemmer said, I need to be thinking, “How can I do this?” instead of wondering whether I can. Or being convinced by my lying brain that I can’t.
The Solution
My brain may or may not be me—I’m still not 100 percent on that—but even if it is, I’m figuring out that it’s also a powerful tool that, if used correctly, can get me better outcomes than I’ve been getting.
If I can overcome the scarcity mindset and make the shift to abundance thinking, maybe I can stop viewing my self-defeating thoughts as just an inevitable part of my me-ness and see them for what they really are—just thoughts that pass through my mind. Just like a million other thoughts that pass through on a daily basis. And I have the choice to accept them or reject them, just like with all those other thoughts. I can choose to reject negative, self-defeating thoughts that prevent me from trying again and persevering until I win. And I can replace them with positive and totally sensible thoughts, like, “This is a process. You can’t expect to be good right out of the gate. Just keep learning and growing and you’ll figure it out.”
I just need to remember, my brain might be me, but it can also be my biggest ally or my most deadly enemy. It’s a supercomputer that takes the inputs I give it and manifests outcomes accordingly. If I allow the negative inputs that sprout up unbidden like weeds to remain in my mind, I’ll get unproductive outcomes. But if I do the necessary work to replace the negative inputs with positives, I’ll get productive outcomes.
The Application
So what about you? Is your brain acting as your faithful ally, or does it sometimes go on auto-pilot in ways that don't serve you? Can you identify some areas where you should consider redirecting your brain to produce more positive outcomes?
