Five Rituals That Strengthen Confidence
I have a newfound respect for entrepreneurs. After just a few months of running my own business, I can tell you—it’s a lot harder than I thought! Every week (sometimes every day), I uncover some new nuance of it that I need to figure out.
Yes, I’m still learning. Absolutely.
And that’s humbling, because I’ve spent years learning and leading in other areas. I’ve picked up a lot about leadership and people skills, and I love sharing those lessons with others. It’s gratifying to think I might help someone avoid some of the potholes I stepped in.
But today I’m not here to tell you what I know. I’m here to share what I’m still learning—confidence.
My Complicated Relationship with Confidence
On one hand, I’ve always believed in my potential. I was blessed with a good mix of nature (genetics) and nurture (upbringing). My parents gave me solid values. I’ve enjoyed success in my career, marriage, and family.
On the other hand, I grew up believing I should be careful not to go overboard with the whole confidence thing. Explicitly or implicitly, messages like these seeped into my consciousness:
“Don’t get too big for your britches.”
“Don’t bite off more than you can chew.”
“Don’t set the bar too high or you’ll just be disappointed.”
I’m sure nobody ever meant those words, or similar ones, to act like a governor to throttle down my expectations or ultimate levels of success, but they did all the same. And for 50+ years, I’ve carried that mindset.
Breaking those patterns isn’t easy. But it’s necessary.
My friend Dr. Alan Zimmerman, an expert on self-confidence and self-esteem, doesn’t mince words:
“Low self-confidence virtually guarantees your failure.”
“Low self-esteem will keep you from accomplishing all that you could.”
Yikes. Sobering words for those of us who sometimes wrestle with confidence.
But here’s the good news: confidence is not a fixed personality trait—it’s a skill. And like any skill, it can be developed through practice. Here are five daily rituals I’m learning to build into my life.
1. Establish a Morning Routine That Sets the Tone
Your routine doesn’t need to look like mine—or anyone else’s. The point is consistency. A solid morning routine launches your day with purpose and control, and nothing builds confidence faster than stacking small wins early.
Some ideas: rising early, prayer or meditation, affirmations, exercise, hydration, reviewing your priorities. One note: I’ve never seen a serious morning routine that starts with scrolling social media. Looking at you, Michael Hales. Just saying.
True confession: I do not have this one figured out yet. But I’m working on it.
2. Keep a Daily Gratitude or Wins Journal
For me, this one works best at the end of the day. It’s a moment to reflect on what went right, however small.
If you’re like me, you remember your mistakes vividly but let your wins slip by mostly unnoticed. That imbalance erodes confidence. Highlighting your successes—whether writing them down or simply naming them—reinforces momentum and builds resilience.
3. Develop Feedback Loops
Fellow introverts, this one’s for you. I know—asking for feedback can feel like volunteering for a root canal. But trust me: it’s worth it.
We all have blind spots. Some are weaknesses that trip us up; others are strengths we don’t even recognize. Trusted voices help us see both. And once you begin to own your strengths, your confidence gets a powerful lift.
4. Make Learning a Daily Habit
As John Maxwell says, “You cannot give what you do not have.” If you want to add value to others, keep filling your own tank—through books, podcasts, courses, conversations.
The more you grow, the more you can give. And nothing builds confidence like seeing others benefit from your investment in them.
5. Network Strategically
It’s been said you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Who are your five?
Surround yourself with the right people—people who encourage growth, model confidence, and challenge you to level up. As my mentor Chris Robinson likes to say, “Get out the house!”
Confidence is contagious. Spend time with those who have it, and you’ll find it growing in yourself.
The Leadership Connection
From a leadership perspective, confidence is a force multiplier.
Confident leaders inspire teams to innovate and take smart risks.
Leaders who lack confidence unintentionally create cultures of hesitation, where people play it safe and growth stalls.
Confidence isn’t about arrogance or bravado. It’s about showing up with clarity, courage, and conviction. And it’s available to anyone willing to build it daily.
These five rituals are my current focus. Maybe they can help you, too.
