The Difference between Coaching and, well, COACHING!

I had the opportunity recently to hear Tim Tebow speak. Maybe you’ve heard of him. If not for his accomplishments on the college football field (two national championships, Heisman trophy, etc.), possibly for his failures at the NFL level (he never really found similar success there). Or maybe because he is an outspoken and unapologetic Christian, a bit controversial in today’s social climate. This is, after all, the guy who invented “Tebowing.” (Google it.)

He began with this: “The best crave being coached.” That immediately got my attention, as I am in the “becoming” stage of being a leadership coach! It was great news because I’m very interested in working with the best! And this meant they would also be looking for me! Nice!

I might have known there would be a bit more to the story.

The Story

He went on to tell the story of the first game of the 2007 college football season–his first game as the Florida Gators’ starting quarterback. Well, actually he talked more about the aftermath than the actual game, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

The game was against noted college football powerhouse, Western Kentucky University. That’s right, WKU, the fighting Hilltoppers. Never heard of them? Well, “powerhouse” might have been a bit of an overstatement. The matchup was not exactly “must-see TV,” and the Gators won 49-3.

Tebow played a great game individually too, completing 13 of 17 passes for 300 yards and three touchdowns. If you don’t know football, that’s a really good game by any standard.

Here’s where it gets interesting. Coming into the practice facility the next day to review game film and start to prepare for the next opponent, Tim expected to be patted on the back for a job well done. After all, he had led the team to a resounding win and performed well individually in the process. But there were no pats forthcoming. His coach already had the film queued up and when he pressed “play,” Tim saw his first incompletion. Which the coach reviewed with him over and over again. Then it was on to the second incompletion. Then the third. You get the idea.

They didn’t talk at all about what had gone well. Tim was a little indignant about that. But he eventually figured out what his coach knew–that the performance it took to beat WKU would not be good enough to beat the championship-caliber teams coming up later on the schedule. He had to get better and his coach was helping him by actually coaching him.

The Point

This got me thinking about the term coaching in the business realm. We mostly use it to refer to something very different than what Tim talked about.

When I start coaching clients, I won’t be showing them game film of their interactions with their team members and peers and pointing out what they should have done better. Instead, I’ll use dialogue, active listening, and probing questions to help them clarify their goals and figure out the next steps to move toward them. And that’s totally legitimate and something many leaders find critical to their success. Who knows, maybe I’ll get to coach you like this someday.

But let’s circle back to the sort of tough love, in your face, “do you want to feel good or do you want to get better?" kind of coaching Tim’s coach gave him. In today’s participation trophy climate, this kind of coaching might be a little harder to come by. People are probably not lining up to give it to you, so you may have to seek it out. But you should. And so should I. It won’t make us feel good in the moment, but it will help us get better.

And isn’t that what this growth journey is all about anyway?